How to keep yourself and rangatahi safe when talking about harmful or objectionable content

It’s important to acknowledge that not every young person has come across this kind of content - everyone’s online experience is unique. However, the topic is sensitive and can bring up strong emotions for rangatahi who have.

Before facilitating these conversations, make sure you are prepared. You don’t need to know all the answers, but understanding the law, current research, and available support pathways will help you guide discussions safely and constructively. (See the end of this page for resources and how to make contact about professional development training.)

Let other trusted adults in a young person’s life know that these conversations are happening. This ensures that if feelings come up later, rangatahi have clear pathways to support through whānau, school counsellors, or helplines. If you’re in a school setting, consider involving the school counsellor directly so they can let rangatahi know they are available and how to get in touch.

Using a trauma-informed practice model helps keep everyone safe. Below is a step-by-step guide to the six key principles, including facilitation tips specifically for working with rangatahi. You may already know many of these principles; the examples are here to support you in using them more intentionally in this kōrero.

The principles and guidance in this guide can be adapted to suit the cultural context of your community, school or organisation.

Key Practices

• Create an environment where rangatahi feel physically, emotionally, and culturally safe.
• Build relationships early – keep your tone open, friendly, and relatable.
• Know the rangatahi you are working with. This will help guide age and stage appropriate kōrero.
• Use trigger warnings and give time to prepare for sensitive discussions.
• Co-create a kawa (shared agreement) to set expectations and collective responsibilities.

Facilitation tips

• Build the kawa together by inviting rangatahi to suggest what makes a safe, respectful space.
• Include guidelines such as:
  • Listening without judgment
  • This is not the place for personal disclosures – but you will be available to talk one on one in breaks or after the session.
  • Facilitator tip: deliver this line clearly and compassionately. Holding this boundary is best practice for the safety of rangatahi and those around them, given the sensitive content.
  • Respecting diverse views
• Refer back to the kawa during the session if boundaries need reinforcing.

Key Practices

• Build relationships based on trust before having this kōrero.
• Be upfront about what the session will cover and why it matters: no surprises.

Facilitation Tips

• Provide a youth-friendly overview so rangatahi know what’s coming.
• Build trust by being authentic and consistent - rangatahi quickly notice when things feel inauthentic.

Key Practices

• Give rangatahi options in how they engage so they feel in control.
• Make it clear they can step out, take a break, or choose not to share — personal sharing is never required.
• Offer different ways to participate:
  • Small group kōrero
  • Pair-sharing
  • Quiet reflection or writing
  • Simply listening

Facilitation Tips

• Use inclusive, non-pressuring language like: “Join in however feels right for you; listening is participation too.”
• Use quotes from research to spark general discussion rather than asking for personal disclosures.
• Remind rangatahi that they don’t need to share personal experiences.
• Include a kawa guideline about respecting people’s choices in how they engage.

Key Practices

• Frame the session as a shared learning space where everyone’s ideas matter.
• Acknowledge the expertise rangatahi bring; they know their realities best.
• Invite contributions but don’t put anyone on the spot.

Facilitation Tips

• Use research-based quotes as springboards for discussion. Ask if they reflect the experiences of rangatahi they know.
• Refer to the kawa as the shared foundation for how collaboration happens.

Key Practices

• Focus on strengths, solutions, and possibilities, not just risks or problems.
• Provide practical strategies rangatahi can use in their lives and communities.
• Use mana-enhancing approaches that uplift rangatahi, centring what they can control and influence.

Facilitation Tips

• End sections with a “what you can do” takeaway so sessions feel actionable. For example: “How to curate your social media feed.”
• Invite rangatahi to share strategies that work for them, including how they could support their friends or younger siblings.
• Use real examples from research to show positive ways rangatahi across Aotearoa are responding to challenges.

Key Practices

• Weave in tikanga-based approaches and values such as manaakitanga (care) and whanaungatanga (connection).
• Make space for diverse cultural perspectives and practices to be visible and valued.

Facilitation Tips

• Make time for whakawhanaungatanga before diving into content.
• Weave in existing cutural practices and approaches that the young person or group are familiar with. This may include mihi or karakia.
• Use research quotes that reflect diverse rangatahi voices across Aotearoa.

• Sets boundaries and expectations together
• Supports psychological safety
• Makes it clear rangatahi don’t need to share personal experiences.
• Creates a shared sense of responsibility for holding a safe space

• Keep kōrero general rather than personal
• Minimise emotional risks and unwanted disclosures
• Provide insight into how these challenges affect young people across Aotearoa

If you think a young person is about to disclose harm in a group setting, gently remind them that this isn’t the right space for personal experiences. Let them know they can talk to you after the session and be ready to guide them towards the school counsellor or a helpline if you’re not the right person to receive the disclosure.

If someone does make a disclosure in a group setting - acknowledge it briefly, firmly close it off and do not invite comments from others. Make sure the room is calm and safe before continuing. Follow your usual disclosure process with the individual as soon as possible, keeping the interaction private and avoiding further attention.

Rangatahi sometimes use humour or banter to manage the awkwardness of sensitive topics. When building your kawa together, have a discussion on what is and isn't appropriate humour in this context and agree on a line together. Make sure the rangatahi are aware of the risks of hurting others and minimising others' experiences through humour and be assertive about where your own line is. This will make it easier to address respectfully in the moment if it comes up.