Educators: Conversation starters for talking about harmful or upsetting online content

Focus: Recognising feelings, talking to trusted adults, and building confidence.

• "If you saw something on TV, YouTube, or a game that made you feel worried or upset, what could you do?"
  (Ideas: turn it off, mute if it’s a scary scene in a film or show, leave the room, tell a teacher, talk to an adult you trust.)
• "Who could you talk to at school or home if something online made you feel scared or confused?"
  (Ideas: teacher, parent, whānau, older sibling – if old enough to support.)
• "Sometimes we see things that make us feel funny inside, like worried or sad. What helps you feel better when that happens?"
  (Ideas: talking to someone, taking a break, playing outside, doing a calming activity.)

It’s important to remember that if someone shares or shows you something on a phone, ipad/tablet or computer that makes you feel upset, confused or scared that you don’t show any of your friends as it could make them feel upset too. Instead make sure you talk to an adult like a teacher or parent who can help.

Focus: Naming feelings, starting to make choices, and understanding where to get help.

• "If you came across something in a video, game, or online that didn’t feel right, what could you do?"
  (Ideas: close the screen, exit out of the site, talk to a trusted adult – teacher or parent.)
• "Who are the people you can go to at school or home if something online upsets you?"
  (Ideas: teacher, parent, whānau, school counsellor, school librarian.)
• "Sometimes friends show us things that make us feel uncomfortable. What could you say or do if that happens?"
  (Ideas: say 'no thanks', turn away, tell a trusted adult.)

Focus: Recognising harmful content, making safe decisions, and seeking support.

• "What could you do if you saw something online that was scary, confusing, or upsetting?"
  (Ideas: leave the site, block the content, talk to an adult you trust, make sure you don’t share it with anyone else.)
• "Sometimes things we see online can stay in our minds. What might help if that happens?"
  (Ideas: talk about it with someone you trust, do something calming or fun, take a break from screens.)
• "If a friend showed you something you didn’t want to see, what could you do?"
  (Ideas: tell them you don’t want to watch it, walk away, talk to an adult.)
• “Why do you think friends might share content that is harmful/scary/upsetting?” (Ideas: they don’t know that they should talk to an adult, they don’t know who else to talk with about it, it made them feel ick and they didn’t want to feel alone in this feeling, it shocked them so they wanted to shock someone else, it made them feel yuck so they turned it into a joke to help get rid of that feeling.)
• "Who are the adults at school or home you can go to if something online worries you?"
  (Ideas: teacher, parent, counsellor, whānau.)

If students are getting phones or access to social media at this age talk about the legality of having a social media account under the age of 13 and why this rule is in place. Use this as an opportunity to introduce and talk about algorithms and that if/when they do get social media accounts that it’s important that they curate their algorithm so they see things they want to rather than what the app thinks they want to see.

Focus: Building critical thinking, peer support, and digital resilience.

• "What could you do if you saw something in a show, game, or online that felt harmful or didn’t seem right?"
  (Ideas: leave the site, block content, talk to a trusted adult.)
• "Sometimes things we see online or in videos can stick with us. What might help if that happens?"
  (Ideas: take a break, talk to someone you trust, write or draw about it.)
• "If a friend showed you something that made you uncomfortable, what could you do?"
  (Ideas: tell them you don’t want to see it, close the screen, ask if your friend is ok, make sure your friend knows where to get support, seek help from an adult)
• “Why do you think friends might share content that is harmful/scary/upsetting?” (Ideas: they don’t know that they should talk to an adult, they don’t know who else to talk with about it, it made them feel ick and they didn’t want to feel alone in this feeling, it shocked them so they wanted to shock someone else, it made them feel yuck so they turned it into a joke to help get rid of that feeling.)
• "Who are the adults at school or home you could go to if you saw something online that worried you?"
  (Ideas: teacher, dean, school counsellor, parent, whānau.)
• “Do you know what an algorithm is? And what it means to curate your feed?”

This is often the age the rangatahi are given their own phone and although social media is restricted to age 13 and above many have social media accounts before this. Whether students have phones or not this is a great time to start talking with them about algorithms, how they work and what users can do to curate their social media feeds and see the content they want to rather than leaving it up to the site to suggest. You can find out more about algorithms here. (link to info on our site)

Focus: Independence online, evaluating content, and peer responsibility.

• "If you came across something online that seemed harmful or confusing, what would you do?"
  (Ideas: block it, report it – make sure they know how to do this, leave the site, talk to a trusted adult.)
• "Sometimes videos, images, or posts online can stay in our minds. How could you manage this?"
  (Ideas: Don’t deal with it alone - talk about it with someone you trust, take a break, focus on something positive that you enjoy.)
• "If a friend shared something online that made you uncomfortable, what would you do?"
  (Ideas: don’t forward it, tell them you don’t want to see it, ask them if they are ok and know how to block and report it, talk to a trusted adult.)
• “Why do you think friends might share content that is harmful/scary/upsetting?” (Ideas: they don’t know that they should talk to an adult, they don’t know who else to talk with about it, it made them feel ick and they didn’t want to feel alone in this feeling, it shocked them so they wanted to shock someone else, it made them feel yuck so they turned it into a joke to help get rid of that feeling.)
• "Who can you ask for help at school or home if something online worries you?"
  (Ideas: teacher, dean, guidance counsellor, parent, caregiver.)
• “Can anyone tell me how social media works?” (Ideas: talk about what algorithms are and how they work, give rangatahi practical advice on how to curate their feed.)

Whether students have phones or not although statistics show most do by this age this is a great time to start talking with them about algorithms; how they work and what users can do to curate their social media feeds and see the content they want to rather than leaving it up to the site to suggest. You can find out more about algorithms here. (link to info on our site)

• "What advice would you give to a younger sibling or friend about being safe online?"
  (Ideas: curate your algorithm, talk about what’s okay to watch/share, they shouldn’t need to deal with harmful content on their own and that they should seek help when needed.)

Focus: Building independence, recognising harm, and knowing where to get support.

• "If you came across something online that was harmful or illegal, what could you do?"
  (Ideas: leave the site, report it, talk to a trusted adult, access helplines like 1737 or Youthline.)
• "What sort of content do you think might be illegal?"
  (Ideas: child sexual abuse material, content showing real-world sexual violence (rape porn), extreme violence or violent extremism, animal cruelty.)
  Rangatahi should understand that this content is illegal because of the harm it causes to people and communities. It’s also illegal to create, host, or share this material. If they do see it, they should not share it with peers, instead, report it and seek support. Find the definition of objectional content here.
• "Have you ever seen something online that stuck with you or was hard to forget? What strategies could help?"
  (Ideas: talk with a trusted adult, take breaks from screens, do calming activities, connect with friends offline.)
• "If a friend shared something that made you uncomfortable or that shouldn’t be shared, what would you do?"
  (Ideas: don’t forward it, block or delete it, report it if necessary, and check in to make sure your friend has support.)
• "What advice would you give to a younger sibling or friend about staying safe online?"
  (Ideas: be mindful of what you watch and share, ask for help when something feels wrong, talk to them about how algorithms work and how they can curate them, remember you don’t have to deal with harmful content alone.)

Focus: Critical thinking, legality, peer support, and emotional wellbeing.

• "What responsibility do we have if we see harmful or illegal content online?"
  (Ideas: report it, avoid sharing it, support each other, and know where to get professional help.)
• "Why do you think some content is classified as illegal (objectionable)?"
  (Ideas: the harm it causes to victims, its role in promoting violence or exploitation, and the impact it can have on individuals and communities.)
• "How do you manage it when you see something that really impacts you emotionally?"
  (Ideas: talk to someone you trust, use helplines, curate your feeds, limit screen time, spend time in positive spaces.)
• "If a friend came to you after seeing something harmful online, how could you support them?"
  (Ideas: listen without judgement, help them access trusted adults or helplines, remind them it’s not their fault, and encourage them not to share the content further.)
• "What advice would you give to younger rangatahi about navigating online spaces?"
  (Ideas: be critical of what you see, don’t share things that are upsetting or harmful even if it’s as a joke, understand that it’s okay to block, report, or leave spaces that feel unsafe, and remember there’s support if something goes wrong and it’s important to talk to an adult.)