What rangatahi tell us about seeing extreme content online

This resource has been peer reviewed by Youthline NZ and clinical psychologist Dougal Sutherland from Umbrella Wellbeing.

Rangatahi have told us that seeing extreme content online can have a big impact on them. Here’s what they say:

It can be really scary. Some young people feel “terrified” or “traumatised.” Some say it makes them lose sleep or feel unsafe.

It can be hard to forget. Even if they try to move on, the images or videos can stay in their minds “sticking in your brain.” Some say they forget for a while, then suddenly remember and feel unsettled again “watch the video, then forget about it, then remember it later.” Others say certain content stays with them longer, especially if it’s seen as taboo “it’ll stick to you more if the society you’re in deems it taboo to talk about.”

It can make them feel ashamed or guilty. Even though it’s not their fault, rangatahi sometimes feel embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about what they’ve seen “you don’t want to tell anyone… because it’s like embarrassing to admit you’ve seen that stuff.”

It can make extreme things seem normal. Seeing violent or harmful content over and over can make young people less shocked by it “desensitisation,” “normalising harmful behaviour.”

It can change how they think and feel. Some rangatahi say that watching harmful content affects their mental health “it’s not really that good on their mental health” and “one thing leads to another, and you find yourself going deeper and deeper, which can lead to things like depression.” Others worry that algorithms push more harmful content “it’s surprising to me how algorithms can change someone’s mindset and their entire life.”

Younger kids might copy what they see. Sometimes, younger children don’t understand what they’re watching and may try to imitate harmful or illegal things out of curiosity“see something illegal out of curiosity, they’ll try to do it, try experience it.”

The impact can be different for everyone. The way harmful content affects a young person depends on factors like their age, life experiences, and cultural background. Some rangatahi feel extremely distressed, while others become curious “kinda grossed out, but then weirdly curious sometimes.” Others notice cultural differences in what is considered extremely harmful. This shows why it’s so important for parents to have open and supportive conversations with rangatahi about what they see online.

What our classification advisors says: For us, it’s not just about protecting children; it’s about protecting everyone. Some content can be harmful no matter your age, and we take that responsibility seriously.

That’s why being prepared makes such a difference it’s much easier to deal with harmful content when you know what to expect, rather than having it suddenly appear on your social media feed. And knowing that our work helps prevent harm to others makes it easier to manage.

But we’re never facing it alone. We always have the option to view difficult material with a colleague, and we talk through everything as a team. No one carries the weight of this work by themselves.

What this means for us as parents?

Many young people have told us they don’t always feel comfortable talking about what they’ve seen, especially if they feel embarrassed, guilty, or unsure of how others will react. It’s important that we create a safe, non-judgmental space where they feel able to open up without fear of blame or punishment. By doing so, we make it easier for young people to seek help and support from others.

How can we best respond?

Start open, ongoing conversations. Make it normal to talk about online experiences, including tricky or upsetting content. Let them know they won’t be in trouble for bringing things up. See our conversation starters resource.
Reassure them it’s not their fault. Rangatahi sometimes feel guilty or ashamed, even when they didn’t seek out harmful content. Remind them that extreme content can show up unexpectedly online and that they can always talk to you.
Help them process what they’ve seen. If they mention something upsetting, ask how it made them feel - “Did it stick with you?” or “Did it make you feel uncomfortable?” Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them they’re not alone.
Encourage critical thinking. Talk about how harmful content can change the way people think and feel over time. Ask questions like, “Do you think seeing that a lot might make it feel more normal?” or “Why do you think the algorithm is showing you that?” Keep your tone neutral so your child doesn’t feel judged; this helps keep the conversation open and honest.
Check in regularly. They may not want to talk straight away, but checking in later leaves the door open.
Model healthy online habits. Show them how to take breaks from distressing content, use safety settings, and report harmful material. Let them see that even adults take steps to protect themselves online.

The most important thing is making sure rangatahi feel supported, not judged. The more they know they can talk to the adults in their life, the better prepared they’ll be to navigate harmful content if they come across it.